Showing posts with label Mommy Files. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mommy Files. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Love Letter to Myself for the New Year


Hi friend:

I see you sitting there in your yoga pants contemplating the past, present and future.  Let it go.  It's time to focus on 2018, its all about you.  This year you're going to be selfish and you're not going to feel guilty about it.  Since becoming a mother almost five years ago, you have made life about everyone else but yourself.  You've devoted all your hours, minutes and seconds to your family.  This year, you are going to give yourself the same unconditional love you give others.  In order to love others to your full potential, you must first love yourself.  Being selfish is not going to make you a "bad" mom or wife.  It's actually going to make you happier, centered and accomplished.

First on the list, stop trying to attain perfection.  You put so much unnecessary pressure on yourself when in reality, you are the only one who notices if your rug has crayon marks, if the dishes aren't done or if you're not perfectly put together {every. single. day}.  I understand you can't help but obsess over  the "perfect lives" on Instagram but remember, its easy to play pretend on social media. There's no way that mother, with those five children, has a perfectly organized house every day. Don't be so hard on yourself.  It's completely fine to let your son eat chips off the floor or to allow your daughter to eat  Oreos for dinner. It's called survival mode and you're rocking the shit out of it.

Second, your business is going to BOOM and not in the way you think. Fringed Haven is your passion project. You started it to inspire people, build relationships and beautiful spaces.  When something is created out of passion and authenticity, it grows on its own and that is what you've manifested.  This year strive to connect with people on a deeper level by building trust and friendships in order to deliver beyond their expectations.

Third, read, read and read some more.  Not a magazine or social media posts, actual books.  Put down the phone and pick up a book.  There are so many things that interest you - spirituality, Buddhism, architecture, design, cooking....read about it, learn about it.  Remember those corny commercials  with the stars floating across the screen and the tag line 'the more you know' popping up? Knowledge is power.

Fourth, write, write, write.  Commit to writing at least one blog post a week.  Your readers have expressed their fondness in your writing. Give the people what they want will you?  At the very least, keep a journal handy and write down your thoughts throughout the day.  Great ideas pop into your mind all the time but exhaustion at the end of the day seems to vanish them.  Don't let the next big "thing" slip your mind.

Fifth, get your ass into the yoga studio, like yesterday.  Remember when yoga was your thing?   Remember how it makes you feel?  How it grounds you, relaxes you, helps you sleep?  I'm sure you would love to feel that bliss again.  I mean, you already have your yoga pants on. Put them to good use.

Most importantly {and I stole this quote from somewhere but I can't remember where}, "stop saying YES to shit you hate."  More so, just stop saying yes to anything you really want to say NO to.  It's alright if you just want to stay home on a Saturday night, or if you don't want to schedule a play date with that mom you don't really like, or if you rather not attend the networking event.  Declutter your life and only say yes to what truly makes you happy.

2018 is going to be about spiritual understanding and personal growth.  Peace, love and happiness in New Year!

xx,
Me

Thursday, April 13, 2017

When One Chapter Closes

I am feeling melancholic tonight as a big chapter of my life is coming to a close.  I am about to get personal but this something I want to share.  Almost four years ago I made a commitment to myself and to my first born.  Andee came into this world and I chose to nurse her. I set a goal for myself of one year.  To say those first eight weeks weren't the hardest of my life would be a lie.  I wanted to quit.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  I cried, didn't eat much, and lost so much sleep {mostly, didn't sleep at all}.   Like most first-time moms, those first few weeks brought so much doubt.  Am I making enough milk? Is she really hungry, again? Is that normal? What is cluster feeding and how on earth can she be going through yet another growth spurt?  I had no idea what I was doing.  Andee would cry, I would nurse her.  Andee would wake up, I would nurse her. Andee would laugh, I would nurse her.  What did I know? I thought she was always hungry,  for 15 months, while she co-slept with us.  I was insane. Trust me when I tell you, you don't want to know what's it's like not sleeping for a year.  It ages you my friends.  Even after all that anguish, and I know it sounds cliche, it was completely worth it.  I loved how she would look up at me, caress my chest, pinch my back with her little hand, all while I nursed her.  When she was so tiny and would doze off on my chest, while I smelled her hair.  How easy it was to get her quiet if she threw a fit, you know, as a human pacifier.  The fact that I was burning roughly 500 calories a day, sitting on the couch producing milk.  Seriously, gym who?  It really was an awfully wonderful feeling and so hard to let go.  I bonded with my daughter in a way I never thought I could.

Circa 2013 with Baby Andee













When my second child Kevin was born about a year ago, I prayed that nursing him would be easier.  It was! I attribute the ease to being a second time mom and the few tricks I had up my sleeve.  Like knowing what kind of cry means hunger, not that every cry means hunger.  Knowing that if I want to survive as a mother to a toddler and infant, the infant has to sleep in his crib.  Knowing that it doesn't matter if the house is not tidy, the dishes are piled up in the sink and everyone is starving. They can go grab some take-out while I sit right here and enjoy this moment, that goes by ridiculously quick.

2016 with Baby Kevin














Ending my relationship with nursing this time around is so much harder for me.  With my daughter, she had to be weaned off.  This time, it seems like I'm the one that needs the weaning and Kevin is weaning himself.  I will definitely miss those early morning snuggles while everyone else is asleep and the house is eerily silent.  I will miss those beautiful black eyes looking up at me and that handsome boyish grin.  I will miss our bedtime hour, sitting in a dark quiet room, just savoring the moment.  To know that Kevin is the last baby I will nurse makes me sad, but knowing that I was lucky enough to nurse them both, that's my ultimate joy.


Photos: Aragon Photography